


A Lost Romance

by Roraessel



Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age: Origins
Genre: Contest Entry, F/M, Singing Hearts Contest, Songfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-09
Updated: 2015-01-09
Packaged: 2018-03-06 20:28:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,548
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3147578
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Roraessel/pseuds/Roraessel
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"In the shadow of the moon, she danced in the starlight. Driven by a world gone mad, she took flight." (Contest entry for the "DA2 Rivalmance" group's Singing Hearts contest on Deviant Art. Written and posted on dA in January 2013. Rated "T" just in case.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Lost Romance

**Author's Note:**

> Title: Singing Hearts: A Lost Romance  
> Author: Agarhel  
> Game: Dragon Age: Origins  
> Characters: Rowan Cousland, Nathaniel Howe, with mentions of other OCs and NPCs  
> Purpose: “Singing Hearts” contest entry, for the Rival-mance group on DeviantArt  
> Inspiration: “Shadow of the Moon” by Blackmore’s Night https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UTPVsuiNPqw
> 
>  **Disclaimer** : Bioware owns all, I own nothing, blah, blah, blah.

It is well past midnight, and no one is awake in the keep, except the guards assigned to the night watch. Not even they saw me slip out of the keep and into the night. All I have been able to think of, for several nights, is what would happen when I arrive in Denirim. I know that I will see Howe, and I will probably kill him for what he did to my family. Daniel wants to do it himself, but he was not there. He didn’t see what Howe’s men did to our sister-in-law, to our dear little Oren, and to all those who were loyal to us.

Only one thing makes me hesitate, and that, is the fact that I know, if I do this, or even if one of my brothers kills Howe, then any hope I have been clinging to that if my betrothed—the son of the man who massacred my family —ever returns to Ferelden, there might be the slightest chance of us repairing what his father’s crime has done to anything between the two of us will be gone. 

I won’t allow myself to even consider that Nathaniel knew about the plot against my family. Why else would his father go to such great lengths to keep him in the Free Marches after our betrothal was announced to the Landsmeet? But I know without a doubt, that justified or not, if a Cousland kills Rendon Howe, Nathaniel will not allow himself to be tied to us by marriage, he will seek to avenge his father.

I love Nathaniel, as much as I hate his father. And now that the Grey Wardens have collected our treaties, we’ll be leaving for Denirim and the Landsmeet in the morning, where I will have to face Howe, and put an end to my indecision, one way or the other.

I walk as I think, not even paying attention as my feet carry me across the bridge from Redcliffe Castle, and up the hill from the village, into the woods above the lake. When I finally come to a stop, I look around and smile as I am reminded of the thick evergreen forests around Castle Cousland, where I used to run to when I was depressed, and needed time alone to think. Of course, I would always end up dancing, the movement of my body somehow managing to help the thoughts flow more freely through my mind.

It’s only seconds before I slip into my old habit, knowing there is no one to see me, no one to care that I am out here as I spin in time to the music in my mind, the velvet skirt of the dark green gown Lady Isolde gave me flaring out around me as I move. I can almost hear the lute, viola, and flute in my imagination playing, and I can’t help but remember the last time I had fled my father’s castle to dance in the woods.

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

It was yet another tedious ball. Mother was insisting on hosting them often, in hopes one of the lords who came would catch my eye. After the tenth half-grown lordling had danced with me, with only a couple respites when my brothers each took a turn with me around the room, the Arl of Denirim’s son decided to take his turn. Vaughan Kendall was nearly seven years my senior, and obviously expected any woman, including me, if the leering grin he gave me as he held me close while we danced meant anything, to see to his every desire.

When the song ended, I tried to step back, but he pulled me closer and whispered in my ear that he could not wait until I was his, and what he would do with me, making sure to comment that once he requested my father’s permission to court me, it would only be a matter of time before he would do anything he wished with me.

My stomach turning, I pulled away, and he let me, but his smirk as I turned away nearly made me sick, and I turned and ran out the doors of the great hall, not noticing who’d been waiting to take a turn dancing with me, or the suspicious glare he’d given Vaughan before following me out of the keep.

I didn't stop running until I reached the clearing in the woods where I loved to think and dance. However, I didn't dance this time, I collapsed in a heap, sobbing, and remained that way until I heard a twig snap back in the direction of the castle. “Who’s there?” I demanded as I shot to my feet, my cheeks flushing at the shudder in my voice that gave away my fear that Vaughan might have followed me. I searched the shadows caused by the clouds drifting in front of the moon, but saw nothing until he stepped into a patch of moonlight.

To say I was surprised to see Nathaniel Howe would be an understatement. I would never have expected one of Ferghus’ friends, let alone my closest friend’s elder brother, to follow me.

“Are you all right, my lady?” Nathaniel asked, keeping a respectful distance. “I saw you leave the great hall after your dance with Vaughan. He didn't hurt you, did he?”

“I..” I hesitated a moment, before I broke down, telling him everything Vaughan had said, sobbing again by the time I finished. “Father wouldn't give me to someone so awful, would he?”

To my surprise, Nathaniel knelt beside me and pulled me into his arms. “No, he wouldn't,” he reassured me. “Teyrn Cousland would never allow anyone to court you without taking your feelings on the matter into consideration, you know this.”

After I had calmed down a bit, Nathaniel looked down at me, and smiled. “Better?” he asked. When I nodded, he brushed a strand of hair out of my face, then let me go, standing and holding his hand out to help me to my feet. “Good. And don’t worry, Vaughan is a coward. He won’t even ask your father for rights to court you. He said the exact same things to Delilah when we were in Denirim for the Spring Landsmeet, and I made certain he knew what would happen if he laid a hand on my sister. I think this time, Daniel, Ferghus, and I will have a word with him together.”

His protectiveness of Delilah made me smile, even if I didn't understand why he was so protective of me. “Thank you, Nathaniel,” I said, wiping at my face to dry the tears.

“Now, I believe you ran off before I had a chance to dance with you,” he said lightly. “Shall we return to the party?”

I laughed, and shook my head. “I’m not quite ready to face everyone and explain why I ran off so abruptly. If you really want a dance though, we can dance here. I do it all the time,” I said, blushing.

“You dance out here in the forest? Alone?”

I shrugged at his question. “It helps me think.”

“Then, I suppose it can’t hurt to stay away a while longer,” Nathaniel smiled, no longer teasing. He stepped back and bowed deeply, before holding a hand out to me. “Lady Rowan, might I have the pleasure of this dance?”

I couldn’t help but giggle, but I returned the formality, spreading the dark grey velvet of my skirts and dipping in a curtsy. “The pleasure would be all mine, m’lord,” I said, taking his hand, allowing him to lead me in a waltz to music we imagined.

My eyes never left his as we danced, even when the shadows hid our faces from each other, and before long, I began to feel like I was falling through the air endlessly. My heart was racing as we moved in circles, and I felt like the world closed in around us.

After a while, we stopped moving, and simply stood like that, Nathaniel still holding me with one hand resting on my lower back, and the other holding my own. “Rowan..” he hesitated, his eyes searching mine.

“Nathaniel?” I waited for him to continue.

“I would like to ask your father for permission to court you, but only if that would be alright with you.”

I thought for a moment, then smiled softly. “I think I’d like that,” I murmured.

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

By the time the memory fades, tears are running down my face. Nathaniel and I courted for a year, before our betrothal was announced to the Landsmeet, and only a few days later, he was sent to the Free Marches, where he remains still, nearly five years later.

My thoughts wander through several more memories as I dance, and by the time I finally stop, it’s nearly dawn, and I know that I’ve made my decision. I smile softly at the stars, remembering what my mother had told me to get me to leave my room, when I’d isolated myself in the family quarters, crying over Nathaniel being sent away.

“Feel no sorrow. Feel no pain. Feel no hurt, it’s nothing gained. Only love will then remain.”

“Thank you, Mama,” I whisper, before retracing my path back to the castle.


End file.
